Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

How many boxes 600 x 400 x 200 go into a 20ft container?

I was tired of fighting.

I was tired of trying and failing.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Tariff news isn't good... - Daily Kos

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It’s still here.

‘The Life of Chuck’: Never Mind the Apocalypse, Watch Tom Hiddleston Dance! - Rolling Stone

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

I had run out of hope.

Little-known cells might be key to human brain’s massive memory - The Washington Post

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Is the Las Vegas Grand Prix considered one of the "premier events on the Formula 1 calendar?"

It’s here now, writing to you.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Be who you already are.

I read this: "Putin is a brilliant, courageous, ingenious, determined, beloved, and incredible modern leader. He is currently the world’s most effective and strong leader, the best the world has seen in centuries." What do you think about this?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Why do I keep dreaming of my mom, who recently passed away from cancer, still being sick and in pain?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

The sadness was still there.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Toyota Industries' shares nosedive on $33 billion buyout deal — steepest fall in 10 months - CNBC

And the sadness?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Why is my ex still keeping in touch with me even though she dumped me?

You are like me, then.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.